A NEW PURSE...

I either have the perfect husband or the worst purse. I heard words that women generally don’t hear from their husbands – “Honey, you need a new purse.”
I head to the mall and made several observations.

10) All the shoes this year make me over 6 feet tall.
9) Wait, I forgot, I was purse shopping.
8) Tall pants are hard to find.
7) Wait, I forgot, I was purse shopping.
6) The purses look really cheap but are very expensive.
5) If a purse is chained to the counter, keep walking because you can’t afford it.
4) The only purses you can afford look like your grandmother’s from 1980.
3) They are either the size of Hefty bags or so small your wallet won’t fit inside.
2) They are so shiny they’re visible from space.
1) I saw at least a dozen men sitting on benches outside the stores. Some were nodding, others were holding dresses and several were working puzzles. They were obviously miserable. Why didn’t they stay home or do something they enjoy?

As I leave the mall, I think that maybe Sid thinks I’m the perfect wife. I don’t ask him to go shopping with me when he doesn’t want to and I all I bought was an Icee.