CALLING THE GOAT...

A few weeks ago when I arrived home I asked my husband if perhaps the neighbors owned a goat. He thought it was a joke. “No kidding,” I said. “There’s a goat beside their RV. Maybe it belongs to their grandchildren.”

Last weekend, our grandson was calmly sitting at the counter eating a peanut butter sandwich when Sid burst through the door telling Rowan to come quick.

The goat was standing at the end of our drive. Rowan started walking toward him and I realized what a funny sight it was. Rowan was dressed head-to-toe in his new black Spiderman costume pointing at the goat. It looks like he was trying to shoot a web. A Kodak moment. I thought I’d run get the camera.

They stood there staring at each other for several minutes when Rowan decided that he might whistle him up. He doesn’t know how to whistle. He put his fingers in his mouth and let out the shrillest sound I ever heard. Oh, his fake whistle. The goat moved so quickly, he left nothing but a blur. Rowan was disappointed.

The next week the runaway goat makes the front page of our local paper. It must have been a slow news week. It turns out that the goat had made his way all over town. Local policemen captured him after quite a chase. He now resides on a local farm.

I had forgotten that Rowan mimics the big boys with this sound. I found this photo, at right, demonstrating the ear-piercing noise.

A NEW PURSE...

I either have the perfect husband or the worst purse. I heard words that women generally don’t hear from their husbands – “Honey, you need a new purse.”
I head to the mall and made several observations.

10) All the shoes this year make me over 6 feet tall.
9) Wait, I forgot, I was purse shopping.
8) Tall pants are hard to find.
7) Wait, I forgot, I was purse shopping.
6) The purses look really cheap but are very expensive.
5) If a purse is chained to the counter, keep walking because you can’t afford it.
4) The only purses you can afford look like your grandmother’s from 1980.
3) They are either the size of Hefty bags or so small your wallet won’t fit inside.
2) They are so shiny they’re visible from space.
1) I saw at least a dozen men sitting on benches outside the stores. Some were nodding, others were holding dresses and several were working puzzles. They were obviously miserable. Why didn’t they stay home or do something they enjoy?

As I leave the mall, I think that maybe Sid thinks I’m the perfect wife. I don’t ask him to go shopping with me when he doesn’t want to and I all I bought was an Icee.